New link alert! I want to introduce Becky. She's a fellow English major from Saint Joe's, but she is currently in a career that takes advantage of her $80,000 education instead of laying around at home watching Food Network and occasionally yelling directives to a curious toddler. Anyway, Becky has some mad writing skillz, a sharp wit, and gorgeous curly red hair that puts the tresses in shampoo ads to shame. Seriously. All of her posts are great, but her musings on the appropriate usage of the word "underwear" is my favorite. Go visit her!
Speaking of SAH motherhood, I am actually getting off my lazy butt and doing a little work. I'm covering a maternity leave at a small Christian school for a few weeks. It's just half day, so I get to see Lucie plenty, but it should provide me with some entertaining anecdotes. Not to mention a little extra cash to blow on my cake-making habit. I subbed a little yesterday, and I can tell that these kids are gonna be trouble. Sample conversations:
Me: So I'll be officially starting Monday or Tuesday, and we can go over classroom policies then.
Acne-Riddled Punk: (smirking) Uh, Mrs. Whatever? We already know the classroom policies.
Me: (with a death glare) It's Mrs. Carter. And you don't know MY policies. (Staredown, staredown, staredown.)
....Later in the hour....
Acne-Riddled Punk: Hey, hey... have you ever heard of basketball?
Me: (with a you're-an-idiot glare) You mean like the sport?
Acne-Riddled Punk: Yeah... I guess you just don't look like you know about sports. (A beat) Hey, have you heard of the Patriots?
Me: (return of the death glare) Yeah, and I hope they lose.
Acne-Riddled Punk: Hey! I like them.
Me: Then I REALLY hope they lose.
We had a kind of chaotic start seeing as I only came to observe and wound up emergency subbing after the preggers teacher realized that she was in labor. (She described symptoms that sounded like water-breakage, and I was like, "Um.. go to the hospital. Now!") She threw some worksheets at me and skedaddled out of there, and I was left managing a group of unruly 8th graders who were just coming off of a sugar high and gearing up for a long weekend and a 7th hour party for some high schoolers who were leaving at semester. My first interaction with them was informing them that they were not, in fact, invited to the party. It was a rough day from then on. I figure they already dislike me, so starting Monday, I'm gonna go all Dolores Umbridge on them. I've never played the Nazi teacher before; it should be fun. ***Evil cackle***
4 comments:
Wow, you're tough! Are you going to make them cut "I will not disobey" into the backs of their hands?
Good luck! You have all of my sympathy and wishes for good days with the crazy kids, because I totally understand! Ah, the memories of teaching ED middle school boys! :) I am sure you will do great, just don't let them get to you!
Alli! You're so nice - thank you for all the kind words :) :) :) And - for the record - I wish I could spend every day with someone as beautiful as Lucie!
I can't believe that brat from your classroom. I love when teachers write about terror kids because it reaffirms my conclusion that I would be a horrible teacher.
I know it's illegal to punch you in the face.......... but I just can't help myself.
Good luck with the teaching stint!
Hey, sounds like you've got yourself an interesting class thus far! I love to hear about stories such as yours, cause it prepares me for the day I have little terrors in my class! I have a new blog! Much better than previous blogs. Stories and thoughts!
I also hope that the wedding cake turned out wonderfully! I'm sure it did, your awesome!
Love ya
Shell
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