"I win the pity award," our school secretary tells me as I take my lunch out of the staff fridge.
"Why is that?" I ask.
"I cleaned up poop this morning," she replies.
"What?! Poop? Where?"
"In the main hallway."
"Like... human poop?"
"I think so, "she wrinkles her nose. "It was in a pile in the middle of the hallway, and then it was kind of tracked towards the preschool wing."
"Ewww!! You do win!"
Apparently we have a rogue pooper loose at Immanuel. I am trying to figure out exactly how this happened; it seems odd that someone could drop his or her pants in a major thoroughfare, poop, and then walk off unnoticed.
This incident reminds me of one of my brother's high school shenanigans. He found a piece of mud, shaped it into a poo log and stuck it in the middle of a hallway. He then hung around to see what would happen. People were literally running into one another to get away from it. After about five minutes, a teacher finally noticed it, and swept it to the side of the hallway... He didn't pick it up mind you... Someone could turn this experiment into a really profound commentary on human nature. All I have to say is thank the Lord for school secretaries. They put up with a lot of crap. (Ba dum ching)
Naptime! And, yes, Lucy is dozing, gasp, ON HER BELLY!
Call the authorities!
Currently playing in my head: "Baker Baker" Tori Amos
Currently reading: Gospel of the Living Dead-Kim Paffenroth
2 comments:
I hope they take your baby away and give her to me.
"Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy." My speculations is that a yungun had an accident (possibly on the way to or from the bathroom). The little tike panicked, dropped his/her pants and got rid of the evidence. This child can be recognized by the lingering poo smell or (if they were smart) the lack of underpants (which might turn up in a trash can. Once you narrow it down, just apply pressure to your suspects. This kid is full of guilt and ready to blurt out a confession at any second.
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