Since it's been quite awhile and since, again, no one is reading this anymore, I thought it would be a good time to include my much anticipated "Top Ten Reasons I Love Samantha M. Zon" list. I like complimenting people behind their backs almost as much as I enjoy insulting them. Okay. Here goes:
Top Ten Reasons I Love Miss (Not "Mrs." or "Mizzzz") Samantha M. Zon
10) Little Thai children are amazed by her ample bosom.
9) She didn't mind that unfortunate waterfall/canoe/rock situation all that much. (Sorry 'bout the whole glass eye thing, Sam!)
8) Her grandmother is way cooler than I am.
7) She falls asleep around 4:30 PM on Friday nights too.
6) She shares my racism against the gypsies. (Flippin' baby stealer/throwers!)
5) She shares my secret desire to quit the teacher thing and become a rhythmic gymnast.
4) Khaki is the color she likes the least, and coffee-stain brown is her favorite.
3) She makes an excellent getaway car driver. When her car starts.
2) Because she is the genius behind my favorite Christian/Jewish conversation ever:
Bitter Jewish girl: (Insert Lord's name in vain here)
Sam: (Cleverly) Where?
Bitter Jewish girl: Still dead.
Sam: Hey, I don't spit on your menorah.
1) Because someday her name will be Mrs. Samantha M. Bumpus!!! (Yeah, I went there!)
And that's all, folks. Have a belated Happy Turkey Day.
Currently playing in my head: The whole Behold the Lamb of God musical/concept album- Andrew Peterson
Currently reading: The January issue of Redbook. (Just being honest.)
6 comments:
You guys are just jealous because you're not gypsies.
I'm gonna steal your baby. Prenatally. Believe it.
Sara in order for u to steal her baby, she'd have to be pregnant.
Alli go get pregnant so Sara can steal your baby :)
shelly
New theory:
Allison has actually already given birth and is hiding the baby from us. That's why she can honestly say she isn't pregnant.
Wait a minute... I THOUGHT I heard crying when I was over there the other night, but I thought it was just Jason.
Brian, I think you may have hit upon something. I think on my lunch break I'll scale their balcony and try to find the hidden baby.
Nope. Both wrong. I've teleported my developing fetus to an alien planet, and they will raise him until he is ready to be born. They'll teleport him back, then I'll pop the little guy out. So, technically I'm not preggers.
I have nothing clever to add to this. All I know is that you're pregnant. The end.
Post a Comment