1) Let your kid be his/her own advocate. If he doesn't get the homework, make him ask for help. If she doesn't like her group, have her ask if she can switch. If he can't see the board, tell him to request a seat change. If the teacher denies any of your kid's requests, THEN you are allowed to call/email/storm in angrily. However, it's much less intimidating and annoying for the teacher if you don't come waltzing in every time your kid has a question. Plus, it helps your child learn how to cope with his/her own problems and builds confidence. Coach your kid at home about how to approach the teacher in a respectful manner and how to handle possible denial/rejection with grace. I don't care how young the kid is, it's never too soon to start developing independence. (Obviously, parents of children with IEPs are exempt from this rule.)
2) If you must approach the teacher, do it on his/her terms. Find out the best means of communication at the beginning of the year and use it. Some teachers (like me!) prefer email before a live conversation. Others want to talk face to face right away. You're much more likely to have a successful meeting if you make the teacher comfortable.
3) Before you call your kid's teacher with a complaint/request/suggestion, ask yourself if it is REALLY necessary. Realize that teachers are constantly receiving criticism and that it can be quite draining- especially when the criticism conflicts. (As it often does.) I've been told that I'm too challenging and too easy, that I give too much homework and don't give enough, that I favor the boys and favor the girls, that I pay more attention to the bright kids and that I pay more attention to the slow kids. How in the world do I cater to ALL of those requests?
4) If your kid receives some form of disciplinary action, he/she deserves it. No questions, no exceptions. The teacher is not out to get your kid. As fellow teacher Mzzz Zon says, "We don't punish your kid for funsies." Most of the time we dread writing that detention slip because we know it will warrant an indignant phone call. Please just support the teacher. Kids lie, and no matter how awesome your kid is, he/she will lie to YOU. Of course, every now and then a teacher may misinterpret an incident, and your kid may actually be innocent. My husband had a great philosophy for these moments. He would tell parents, "At some point in his/her life, your kid did something wrong and didn't get caught; let this particular punishment serve as penance for all of the unconfessed sins." It won't kill him/her. Don't play the cool parent and commiserate with your kid about how unfair the teacher is. In matters of discipline, THE TEACHER IS ALWAYS RIGHT. If you convey this message successfully to your kid, you will have a more respectful student and a more respectful child.
5) If you volunteer in the classroom, don't expect special treatment for your child. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE parent volunteers who help out unconditionally. I HATE, HATE, HATE when a parent thinks that his service entitles him to dictate classroom policies to me.
6) Never, ever, EVER say these words or any variation of them to your teacher or your child: "My child acts out in your class because you are not challenging him/her enough and he/she is bored." It's just not true. The brightest kids I've had are not discipline problems. They ask for more challenging assignments, they bring books or puzzles to work on when they finish their homework, or they proofread their papers again and again. They don't poke other kids with pencils or run around the room jumping over chairs. Don't give your kid an excuse to act like a moron.
7) If you don't like your kids' teacher, keep it to yourself. Don't talk smack to other parents, teachers, and ESPECIALLY not your kid. If you've gotta vent, do so privately with your spouse. If the teacher is grossly incompetent, talk to him/her first, and then go to the principal. The entire school doesn't need to know how much you hate Mrs. Featherbottom. (Got that, Sara?)
8) Just remember that teachers are people too. Know that most of us are working our rear ends off during the school year and that we do have your kid's best interest in mind. We make mistakes, and we should be accountable for them, but we need your grace and patience. I know it's scary to entrust your kid to another adult, but ultimately it is good for your child to learn to adapt to different teaching/discipline styles. We're not going to do things the way you would, and we will disappoint you from time to time, but we really NEED your support and encouragement. Assume the best in us, and we'll assume the best in you.
Listen here, Angry Parent. You be nice to Mrs. Mommy!
28 comments:
But I don't LIKE Mrs. Featherbottom!
Whine, whine, whine. Maybe Mrs. Featherbottom doesn't like you.
I'm a mommy of one IEP student who is very quiet and one "average" (read non-IEP) student who is...um...passionate and energetic! Trying to parent those two very different little people is quite a challenge, and I'm eternally grateful to teachers who help me with it! Thank you for a very helpful post:)
Interesting post. It's good to get the scoop from the inside. Although from a parent's perspective it's hard to have complete trust in a teacher you've only just met. :-)
Thanks for the comments, Jenny and Elizabeth. Jenny, I hope all is well this school year. One of your kids is autistic right? I taught a child with autism and another with Asbergers, and that was a challenging but rewarding experience for me. I bet its both of those times ten for you as a parent. Kick some teacher butt if they aren't doing what they should for your kid. (I will admit that schools do a sub par job of accommodating kids w/ special needs) Elizabeth, it IS hard to trust a stranger with your kid, but my advice is to give them the benefit of the doubt. Innocent until proven guilty, right? :)
By the way, I'm terrified to get a scolding from your baby. Look at the authority in that finger-wag!
*shudder*
Hi, you don't know me but I came upon your blog by viewing other blogs. I served as a teacher for 3 years in a residential treatment center and as a behavior specialist for another 3 years in a classroom setting for a day treatment program for kids/adolescents who were not making it in the traditional public school setting. What we did is school them academically and socially until they were ready to transition back into the public school. I have been a parent for 23 years and I have homeschooled for some of those years.
I agree with a lot of what you posted, but there are a couple of things that as a parent and a teacher I would question. I was wondering if this post was up for discussion or differences of opinion?? I think your post in general is a very important topic but, I didn't want to be disrespectful by sharing my thoughts on someone's blog who doesn't know me.
"In matters of discipline, THE TEACHER IS ALWAYS RIGHT."
I have to say that I really agree with this one.
Back in the day, if I thought my teacher was being unfair, my parents pulled out the classic phrase, "Life isn't fair!"
As much as it infuriated me at the time, and at the risk of starting this with, "In my experience..." I have to say that my parents were really right about that one.
I probably deserved 92.9% of the discipline I received in school (if not more) and my parents' hands-off method really humbled me to know that:
1. Teachers were authority, and you did NOT disrespect authority.
2. I needed to fight my own battles. If I had a problem, I was FORCED to deal with it on my own. Being a shy child, these experiences worked wonders at getting me out of my comfort zone and helping me to learn how to fight for myself. Not that I'm great at it, even now... but I wouldn't even WANT to know what I'd be like if my parents had coddled me and sided with me against the big, bad teacher.
3. There were people out there with worse plights than I. The whole "life isn't fair" and "eat your dinner, there are starving people in China" may seem like silly examples, but it's constantly being nagged about these things that really opened my mind up to others, and helped me to not be as unbelievably self-centered as I was back then. Heck, I STILL need people to harp on me that there are starving people in China! God forbid I lose sight of what's important and actually think that my little playground squabbles are anywhere NEAR the suffering that other people face every single day. What's NOT fair is the fact that children are orphaned by AIDS... that kids are sold into sex slavery... that women have their unborn babies forcibly ripped from their bodies because of a "one child" rule.
As Christian parents, it was ESPECIALLY good of them to allow me to experience these things, because, as they said, life ISN'T fair. We DON'T get what we deserve, and THANK GOD FOR THAT, because what we deserve is death.
Hi Tammy! Nice to (sort of) meet you. Disagree away. My blog needs a little excitement. Oh, and Sara, I would say darn right to your point, but because you began with "in my experience" it is not valid. At all. Sorry.
That last post was me, not my hott husband.
Oh... I... just...
damn.
;)
I was just chatting with Dan on the phone about this topic, and he brought up another point I hadn't thought of... that it's good to think globally about people that have it worse than us, but it's also important to remember that there are probably kids in your child's class that have it worse than your kid. Given that many teachers are up to their eyeballs in IEP's, No Child Left Behind requirements, reporting possible child abuse/neglect situations, and food restrictions because of deadly peanut allergies, I can see why they might get a bit testy if a mom gets pissed because little Jimmy didn't get an extra day to work on his assignment that was clearly due on Tuesday.
That probably falls into your "Is this important" category, Alli.
Thank you for the welcome Alli!! First of all, I really do not want to be quarrelsome....I just want to share another side.
Teachers are SOOOO important; they have one of the HARDEST jobs; and I know their job can be very overwhelming if strict boundaries are not drawn and adhered to.
I totally understand where Sara is coming from in her comment and I get how she got there according to her experience. On the otherhand, because of my own and some other people's experience, I disagree with the statement:
"In matters of discipline, THE TEACHER IS ALWAYS RIGHT."
I believe that at times we do an injustice to children when we teach them that in certain areas adults are ALWAYS right. When we teach them that, in turn they grow up to be adults that think that in certain areas they are ALWAYS right just because they are the adult who is in a particular position of authority. Just because you question or challenge someone in authority does not mean you are disrespecting them.....it can be done in a respectful manner.
I don't believe that anyone can always be right and I don't think we should teach children that. I think it is much more helpful if as a teacher, we will hear out a student or parent (and yes I know we cannot do that about every little thing), consider their side and their input, be accountable for when we were/are not right, and then share that accountability with the student and their parent. That is a good way of teaching kids how to be accountable and also teaching them that teachers are also humans who make mistakes.
I learned so much from my children by allowing them to know that they could question me or point out when they thought I was wrong as long as they did it in a respectful manner.... That said to them "she doesn't think she is always right just because she is an adult and older than me". They all tell me that was such a blessing to them. In turn, it taught them how to respectfully present their opinions and feelings and stand up for themselves in an acceptable manner.
As far as if you don't like your child's teacher, keep it a secret. I disagree. Definitely, do not badmouth the teacher around your child, the student....but I did have a case where I said...you know what I don't really like her (the teacher) either, but that doesn't mean that we can be disrespectful to her or her rules!! Rather than keep it away from them....help them work through it by teaching them how to adapt and respect people and things they don't like!!
Having said all that, I too know that there is a very fine line in all of this. The key is in finding the balance.
The other thing that I wholeheartedly disagree with is the 'your child did something wrong at one time or another and didn't get caught so let this serve as......."
I just gotta say if any teacher ever said anything like that to me they would have a battle on their hands. I believe that just because someone didn't get caught for something else doesn't mean they should serve a consequence for something that they didn't do. No, it won't kill them but there is no good lesson in it either.
Just my opinion....thanks for letting me share.
Hey Tammy. My position on authority and discipline was developed in reaction to growing trends in the educational community during the 19th, 20th, and 21st centuries. American public schools were born in the mid to late 1800s out of a period of revival and social reform. The reformers believed that every child, regardless of social status, needed an education and that each child has inherent value. Good things happened: Poor and immigrant children were getting an education, and social classes started to break down. Then, after the Depression, more educational reforms were developed that led to an even more humanistic and student-centered approach to pedagogy. Again, good things happened: inclusion of special needs students, higher literacy rates, and multiple-instructional strategies of teaching. However, the self-esteem philosophy developed as well, and that, coupled with the Question Authority movement of the 60s and 70s has, in my opinion, really messed up education.
It's a fact that there are more discipline issues in schools now then there were 60, 40, or even 20 years ago. Some psychologists, social analysts, and educators (including myself) believe that the movements I mentioned above are the root of the problems. The self-esteem philosophy teaches a kid that everything he/she says is valid and important, and the Question Authority movement tells the student that he is on equal footing with teachers and other adult authority figures. Specialists tell parents over and over again that kids needs boundaries, limits, and guidance; however these two movements take the ability to make those limits away from the individuals who should be creating them. As a result, everything can be questioned- lessons, class policies, discipline. The student dismisses anything that disagrees with his own opinions/values.
Kids naturally realize that adults aren't perfect well before they hit middle school. They certainly don't need to be taught that! On the contrary, they need reinforcement that adults are RIGHT quite often. As I stated before, and I think you would agree, teachers very rarely punish the wrong kid or dole out unwarranted consequences. So why make "Teachers can get it wrong" your default position, when "Teachers are right most of the time" is a more accurate statement? The reason I upgrade that to "Teachers are always right" is because nuances are difficult for kids. Even middle schoolers and some high schoolers are still operating on a concrete operational level. For these kids, hearing a statement like "teachers get it wrong sometimes" from a parent is the equivalent to hearing "your teacher is wrong." That's just how their brains function. My point is simply that if your kid comes home from school and says something like, "John and Sara were talking, but I got a lunch detention too!", you ought to support the teacher. We both know that the adult's version of reality is probably a bit more accurate than the student's, so I feel that we ought to treat it as such.
I have a lot more to say about the value of obedience and respect for authority and some Biblical connections, but my comment is already running pretty long, so I'll leave that point there for now. (And I understand that if you aren't on board with "the teacher is always right philosophy", then you probably wouldn't be thrilled with the "punishment for unconfessed sins" part either)
I do want address your point about talking about the teacher. I feel very strongly about this point because I have so much trouble following it myself. (Not about teachers, but about people in general) Saying anything negative about another individual when they are not in your presence is gossip, plain and simple. The only exception occurs if you are following the Matthew 18 principal and have already confronted the individual and he/she remains unrepentant and you are looking for other believer to help you confront him/her again. I am sickened by the amount of gossip I engage in, and I am equally sickened by how many excuses I make for it. I include that rule because it is soo easy for us nasty humans to fall into the sin of gossip when we think we are merely "discussing" or "informing."
Anyway, I'm sure I haven't sold my points to you yet, so feel free to pick them apart, and hopefully we'll stumble across Truth somewhere along the way.
Peace in Christ.
Alli,
So in regards to the "teacher is always right" thing you are saying that the burden of proof should be on the student not the teacher correct?
That's exactly what I meant. Thanks, Dan.
I would have to agree with the idea a child being punished for something they didn't do can serve as penance for previous things they have done for several reasons.
1) In all honesty, I would say it is extremely rare that a child is punished for something they are entirely innocent of. They may not have been as involved in the incident as a teacher suspects but if the teacher is convinced enough to punish them, then they were at least involved with whatever happened and this punishment can show them that you should be careful about where you are and who you are hanging out with. In the real world this could happen if someone is in the vicinity of a crime or hanging out with someone committing a crime (even if they aren't aware of it). They can be guilty of public nuisance and be placed in jail. I think learning this lesson with a detention or a check by their name is much better than a possible criminal record.
2) Children need to learn that part being a member of society and benefiting from the structures therein means sacrifice. Their unjust punishment is a rare and acceptable cost of maintaining civility in the classroom. Their personal liberty is momentarily sacrificed for the benefit of the whole. Since most kids these days (especially in middle school) are beyond self centered, such incidents are an excellent place for them to learn that the world does not revolve around them.
3) Just like Alli plainly stated, all kids have done something wrong. In fact, they have done lots of things wrong, and for them to act all entitled and outraged when they are wronged is ridiculous. If we keep a Christian perspective here and remember than the wages of sin is death (every sin mind you, not just some sins or this handful of really bad ones), then these kids are getting off easy.
Having this type of discussion in this type of forum is a bit difficult for me as I have a wrist condition that causes me to not be able to type a lot at one time. It's difficult for me to really pick out what I want to comment about because I would like to comment about it all. Not in order to sell myself or my ideas, but just to share. I could write a book on this topic.... in my opinion, there are several
contributing factors to the messiness of todays educational system where many are left behind.
Maybe the system was messed up to begin with and just continually gets worse.
No, you have not sold me on your points and honestly you probably couldn't as I probably couldn't sell you on mine. But thats okay. I respect your opinion and I understand why and how your opinions have been formed. Along the same lines, I can't say that anyone here is right or wrong, I can just say that we definitely disagree.
I could state my opinions and then share with you how they were formed but that would be a lot of explaining and typing. I will tell you this...most people initially would not agree with me about my opinions of our public school system or about some parenting techniques that I have used. But those that have observed me through the years and those that spend hours in conversation with me end up understanding.
I will give you one example that was the very first experience that got me to thinking about this stuff. I wish I could tell you the whole story but it's too long. So, to make a long story short: My first class was in a residential treatment program. My class consisted of a group of 17 black adolescent boys ranging from age 15-18. They were all from Chicago and Gary and they were all from very troubled backgrounds, they couldn't even be in school let alone earn a passing grade. They were at their last stop before jail.
This particular group of boys went through 3 teachers (2 male, 1 female) before I was asked if I was interested in serving as their teacher. The teachers couldn't hang, they all quit. Here is the long story short: 14 of my 17 boys earned their high school diploma, or GED and the other 3 transitioned back into the public school!!
One day the director of the school came into our classroom and verbally surveyed the boys. The survey question was this: Why have you behaved so much better for Miss Tammy than you have for any other teacher.
And I will never forget their answers:
**She asks me what I think.
**She respects me.
**She values my opinion.
**She doesn't think she is always right.
**She admits she is not perfect.
**She cares about how I feel.
**She apologized to me.
And.....enter the Bible and Christianity.....the big no no in school.....
**She cried and prayed for me.
I will never forget them or what they taught me....
They changed my life and they confirmed many things that I had always thought about as a student in school....
Concerning gossiping: I don't think it has anything to with gossiping when I teach a child that we do not have to like everyone or everything. But we are commanded to love....and therefore, when we don't like someone because of our humaness, we must, at the very least,
out of that commanded love, show respect. Which means, when we feel wronged, we do not throw a fit but we respectfully communicate our feelings and then turn it over to God.
I'm sorry to hear about your wrist problems. Hopefully I'll run into at a Vineyard function at some point and we can talk in person. I'm sure it would be a lively discussion. :)
Regarding gossip, I don't think it is bad to tell a kid, "you may not like her, but you ought to follow her rules." That's a great lesson for kids to learn, and it supports the teacher. I do see a problem with saying, "I don't like her either." Perhaps it isn't gossip (I'm not an authority on what makes something sin; I just like to err on the side of caution) but at best it is unnecessary, and at worst it undermines a teacher's authority. Again, kids have trouble with gray area. If you (generic you, not specific) give any support to the child's ill will towards an authority figure, it validates his opinion. Involved parents (which I'm sure you were) have so much influence over their children's opinions; if they reveal their dislike for someone/something, the child is likely to embrace that opinion. I'm going to speak experientially for a moment, so Sara will have to pardon me...
I have had numerous students whose parents absolutely detested my teaching methods and thought I was a really lousy teacher. Some of those parents hid their opinions from their kids. Some chose not to. There was a definite wall between me and the kids whose parents vocalized their dislike. Some of the kids grudgingly obeyed me, but never would allow any sort of connection to take place. Others were just blatantly disrespectful. On the other hand, I didn't have many problems with the kids whose parents managed to hide their disdain. In fact I have a great relationship with a kid whose mother and I had a massive shouting match. (I'm not proud of myself for that one) She thinks I'm a pretty crummy teacher, but she respects my position enough to support my decisions and not speak ill of me in front of her child. Of course there are exceptions, but overall, I've found that if a parent is supportive, the kid is more likely to be respectful. If a parent is not supportive, the kid is more likely to be a punk. And this principal isn't just true in my classroom; it is a proven fact within the educational community. Parents sometimes don't realize how much they influence thier kids. Even a seemingly innocuous statement like the one you mentioned can irreparably damage a relationship between a student and a teacher. (In your case maybe it didn't, but I don't think it is a good practice as a rule) I feel that if a parent dislikes a teacher and can't hide it, the student is better off in another classroom, or homeschooled. It's better for all involved parties that way.
Congratulations for having such a successful experience with those at-risk boys. It's like one of those feel-good teacher movies come to life. :) I actually don't think we disagree that much about teaching methods. I believe in the value of each student, and in treating them as humans and not as subordinates. My points are directed as advice to parents. When I say the teacher is always right, I am suggesting a position that parents should take if their child complains about the teacher or demonstrates a disrespectful attitude towards him/her at home.
Peace
I'm with ya Alli and for the most part I think you are right when you say: "I actually don't think we disagree that much about teaching methods."
The position that I have taken with my children and others is pretty much this: If I don't like someone, no one else will ever know it by the way I treat that person. So, when I have said to my children that I don't particularly like that person/teacher either, I have also said but you wouldn't know that if I didn't tell you. Furthermore, if you don't like a teacher, boss, co-worker, ect, that does not give you a right to disrespect them...you must still follow their rules, maintain appropriate boundaries, and in general treat them with respect. I have only shared with my children the "I don't like them either" to show them how to treat someone regardless of whether you like them or not. At the same time, I will not be fake with someone, pretending to like them, when I don't....but if I have to be around them because they are my teacher, boss, co-worker, neighbor and so on....I WILL respect them and be kind to them. It's like this....You don't have to invite them to your birthday party but you are not allowed to be mean or disrespectful to them either.
I think you probably get the picture I am trying to paint, as I have gotten yours and I do understand and agree.
I think when I speak experientially that I am not speaking about the kind of educator that you are Alli.
Unfortunately for us we encountered a few teachers/principals who were not caring educators. One teacher told me right to my face that she did not like my child, that she would not call on them when their hand was raised... that she would tell them to put it down every time. And she had already told my child this to their face and admitted to me that she had said that to them. She also forced this child to go through a testing procedure that even the SELF lady said was ridiculous..... she told the teacher that the child wasn't a candidate for it, it was a waste of time and money, and it could damage the child by humiliating them....but the teacher would not withdraw the referral so the testing had to be done. Unfortunately, it was too late in the school year to switch classes.....so I had to tearfully teach my child how to get through the next 6 weeks. Tough one and I think it deeply damaged the child. That should NEVER exist in the educational system....NEVER!!
We were having dinner on 2 different occasions and witnessed an assistant principal slam several beers to the point of intoxication and then get in a car and drive. He then, was involved in a disciplinary action with one of my children explaining to them what was right and wrong and how and why they needed to make good choices.....huh???.....you mean like the choice to drink and drive???
Can you ever imagine yourself as a teacher calling a student a jackass and then telling the parent that you are not sorry for it and you would do it again to them or any other student that was being jackass......Uh....I was floored. That should NEVER happen in the school system....NEVER.
But unfortunately it happens more than what we are aware of.
I'm sorry but throughout our years with the public school system, there were some educators that I just could not stand behind. If I was wrong, then I was wrong, but I can't say that I would do things any differently. To be honest, I was floored by too many of them and got a clearer picture of why the drop-out rate continues to climb....it is not all because of students and their parents.....which is another topic :)
As far as running into each other at a Vineyard event sometime, you lost me there. Have we met before? We haven't been at the Vineyard in about 4 years now I think.
10:21 AM
Tammy,
I think I assumed you guys were still at the Vineyard, and that's what I told Alli. I don't think you and Alli have met before, though. Sorry! I've been gone from there for quite a while, so I don't know who's stayed and who's gone.
Oh!! No problem Sara, nothing to be sorry for. I'm not exactly sure but, I think we left at least a year before you.
Tammy, sorry I didn't respond; I went out of town for a few days. Anyways I think the only point of contention that remains is whether or not a parent should tell a child that he/she dislikes the teacher. You seem to have experienced some really nasty stuff in the school system. Fortunately, my experiences were very positive (both teaching and as a student). I like to think that incompetent teachers/administrators are the exception rather than the norm. However, I totally support homeschooling if a parent feels that the school is failing to provide a quality education or if it does not promote the type of values that the family embraces. I would probably homeschool my own kids if Immanuel didn't exist.
I'd like to end my comments with a random, biased rave about Immanuel. I have never seen more devoted teachers than the ones at this school. Lutheran or not, if you are a parent in the Valpo area, I would high recommend sending your kids to this school. The teachers incorporate Christ into everything they do, they regularly pray for each student by name, and their discipline methods are Biblical and are focused on teaching rather than shaming. Academically, their students regularly out perform the students at Valpo Public Schools on standardized tests (And Valpo schools are great as far as Indiana goes) Thanks for indulging my digression.
Yep....we did experience some nasty stuff within the public school system, and we are not the only ones. I have 4 children...the youngest 2 I took out of the public school system and attempted to homeschool them. A bit difficult if you wait til high school. But by the grace of God things have turned out okay: My daughter got her GED a year before her class graduated and my son just took his GED two weeks ago, also a year ahead of his class.
I have heard fabulous things about Immanuel's school as well!
Thanks for sharing.
Whew...I had a lot of comments to catch up on. LOL! For whatever reason, I feel compelled to give my opinion, although most of the points I feel strongly about have already been covered.
I totally agree that a parent should never bad-mouth a teacher to their children. But, at the same time I always want to have my children's backs and I want them to know that I am always on their side. Sometimes being your child's advocate means you have to step on other people's toes a bit. And other times it means you have to step on your kid's toes too! LOL! I think if a parent hears of an issue, they should go to the teacher and get their side of the story and discuss it. But, definitely NOT sit at home griping in front of or to the child.
The comment about Teachers always being right bugs me. Teachers are human. Humans are not perfect. I don't think that kids need to think someone is perfect and infalliable to be respect-worthy. Teachers are in a position that must be respected, but so am I as the parent. I never want my kids to think (implied or otherwise) that I am never wrong. Humbleness goes a long way. They will see us mess up and I think it teaches them a valueable lesson to hear us admit that.
I totally get what you are saying and can appreciate your side of the argument. However, I never want my kids to blindly believe anything whether it's a fact that they are told in school, Biblical principals, etc...I want them to question, seek truth, and to gain deeper understanding. It can be done in a respectful way as well.
I know that it's annoying to have kids question your authority. It happens to me almost everyday. I have to explain myself. Then, sometimes I get to trump them and say, "Because I said so!" Teachers have every right to do that as well if the situation permits. I think those instances should be rare though.
Hey, Elizabeth!
Thanks for your support in not teacher-bashing in front of your kids. That goes such a long way to show kids that teachers must be respected. To clarify, "the teacher is always right" is a default position I wish some parents would embrace when their children are disciplined. Again, I am not saying that teachers are infallible, but I AM saying that their word ought to be trusted over a student's. If a parent wants to call me to ask why Timmy got a detention in school, that's fine. Parents have a right to know why I dicipline kids. However, I think there is a big problem when a parent comes storming into the room demanding that I rescind the dention because I am unfair and that Timmy couldn't possibly have been tossing glitter around the room and knocking over chairs. Um... hello? I don't make this stuff up, angry parent.
I just find it very sad that in our increasingly postmodern culture, the general population is losing respect for individuals who at one point were considered pillars of the community. The titles of "police officer," "teacher", "doctor" and "politician" don't come with the inherent authority that they once did. Granted, there have been instances of individuals abusing their power, but those cases are not the norm. For every teacher who sleeps with her student, there are ten more who devote every waking moment to making themselves better educators. For every corrupt cop, there are hundreds more risking their lives to keep us safe everyday. For every shady politician there are..... well.. I'll just leave that one alone. :) I think that in this age where "Challenge Authority" is the norm, perhaps we could use a little more blind faith. Please don't misunderstand that to mean academic laziness or a lemming mentality. I simply mean that as more trust in the public servants who are bound to serve, protect, educate, and heal our communities. Hope that clarifies my point.
Peace!
:-) Good points. Good discussion.
Good times! :)
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