I'm sure that if you read this blog you know I'm preggers by now, but I suppose it couldn't hurt to announce it on the Internet. Yes. I'm full of baby, and Dan and Sara are engaged. Good job all of us. Jason and I had hoped to keep the baby news to ourselves for a few months, but living with in-laws rendered that hope completely futile. It's hard to hide morning sickness in a house with 9 people. This pregnancy thing has also been a catalyst of sorts. I now know who I can completely trust with big secrets (Sam Zon!) and who crumbles like a week-old cookie under the pressure. I would like to share a one-act that I have been working on based on this very experience. I call it "The Bridal Shop of Betrayal."
Scene One:
(Wara Sestforth is trying on wedding dresses as Calli Arter looks on, approvingly)
Wara: Thank you so much for coming with me, Calli. Hey, I have to ask you a question... would you be my maid of honor?
Calli: Of course! And since you entrusted me with such an important task, I feel like I should entrust you with an important secret! I'm pregnant! But please, don't tell anyone. Not even your fiancé, Can Darter.
Wara: That's exciting! I promise I won't tell anyone!
Scene Two:
(Calli, her husband Cason, and Wara are all in a room, deep in discussion.)
Calli: Wara, Cason thinks that you won't be able to keep the secret from Can, but I told him I trust you so much, I would be willing to put money on it.
Cason: I think you'll crack.
Wara: Cason, I'm hurt! I would never tell! Calli asked me to keep a secret and I will.
Scene Three:
(Calli's cover is blown the next day in front of the whole family, so she feels that she has no choice but to announce the pregnancy)
Calli: Yeah. I'm pregnant.
Can: I knew it.
Calli: How did you know?
Can: Wara told me last night.
Calli: NOOOOOO!!!!! (sinks to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably)
Curtain
And there you have it. Wara Sestforth has fabulous music taste, and she will offer a sympathetic ear whenever you need it, but whatever you do, don't give her your locker combination. Unless you want Can Darter to steal your lunch and leave pipe tobacco residue all over your books and crap.
Playing in my head- "Guide me O Thou Great Jehovah"- Randall Goodgame
Reading- No More Morning Sickness- Miriam Erick
12 comments:
I stand by my actions with full confidence that I did what was right. I can't help it that Can Darter is friggin' psychic.
Plus, if anyone is not worthy of trust, I say it's Can Darter. After all, after he figured out the news, I made him SWEAR not to tell you he knew. And then he went and did with no problem. He's so untrustworthy.
methinks the lady doth protest too much. In other word... DENIAL!!!
Alli, Congrats! I know I don't really know you, but I'm so excited for you and Jason! I'll get to see you in November in all your prego glory :) I've never experienced morning sickness myself, but my older sisters had it pretty bad. They found the best remedy for them was those sea sickness wrist bands. You can get them at Walgreens or any drug store. They are cheap and look like sweat bands, but they work. They just push the pressure points on your wrists. You could borrow Can's "I love tator tots" band and be the coolest sick teacher at school!
Congrats To you guys!!!! I dont really know you but I'm still so happy for you!!! Babies are Great!!!!! They are alot of work but they are SOOOO worth it! They are even worth the morning sickness and utter exhaustion that you feel in the first trimester! :)
I leave pipe residue nowhere! My precious Wilshire blend stays safely packed in it's air tight baggy.
Now, might i inquire where one could find a pair of men's house slippers?
Thanks, Sara and Annette!! You're neat-o. Annette, I'm so excited to meet you. I actually feel like I kinda know you already a little. James, you best watch yourself or I will make you write, "I will not write/say gross words in front of pregnant women in the hopes that they will throw up" 500 times.
Hee hee. I'm excited for you guys to meet, too. And you'll meet Sara Fu, too, if she comes to the wedding. *crosses fingers that her favorite dance partner will be there*
If Fu's not there, who am I going to inappropriately booty dance with?
Sara, you know I'm always good for an inappropriate dance that involves my booty! I have been practicing up on my "romie and Michelle dance" so look out Indiana...all we need is Marvel there to do his part :) I am so excited for the wedding. There will be so many people there that I haven't seen in forever. I don't see how it could get any better! My little sis, Sara, is getting married to a great guy and I get to have thanksgiving with my family, and I get to see hundreds of people I don't know and a bunch of people I haven't seen in years! WOOOWOWOWOOWWOWOWOWOWOOWOWWOWOOOO!
OH, I will be there alright!!! I feel SO prival;idged to be the one you think of when you wonder who you will dance inappropriatly with!! How could I say No to a good night of dancing with Wu and Netta!!! Hey. I wont leave ealy either just in case you play any songs for me!! LOL! Did I ever tell you that I dedicated a song to you and Annette at my reception but you werent there. I realized that too late. OOPS! They played "DOWNTOWN" but no one really got it and they couldnt really dance to it. Of course all the drunk people didnt really have a problem. LOL!
I was there, Fu! I didn't leave early! :) I was there to the bitter end... remember, when you guys were leaving and I offered to give you some sex advice? ;)
I saw your drunk husband fall on the dance floor and everything! It was great!
I thought that you left early??? WOW I feel like an idiot! Yah, my husband was drunk and he did fall on the floor while he dancing! That was Hysterical!!! I, for the record, was NOT drunk!!! Man that was a fun night!!
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